Other times, kids will bully because they are simply going along with the group. Fear of not being accepted or fear of becoming the next target can lead kids to bully in groups. If your child is being bullied, get them help. Contact their school if it's taking place at school and a counselor, if needed.
Listen to them and let them know you are there for them. Emphasize that it's not their fault. Make a plan to keep them safe. If your child is bullying others, step in to stop the behavior and address any underlying issues. Be sure to guide your child to take responsibility for their actions as well as to reflect on what motivated them to engage in bullying. Making sense of why kids bully others can help victims, parents, and perpetrators alike better understand what is going on—and provide insights into how to stop it.
While this does not in any way excuse the behavior, rarely is the bullying really about the person who is getting bullied. Instead, the behavior is often a reflection of the struggles the person who is bullying is going through.
Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. The social, behavioral, and emotional correlates of bullying and victimization in a school-based sample. J Abnorm Child Psychol. Shetgiri R. Bullying and victimization among children. Adv Pediatr. Aggress Behav. Types of relational aggression in girls are differentiated by callous-unemotional traits, peers and parental overcontrol. Behav Sci Basel. Tippett N, Wolke D. Socioeconomic status and bullying: A meta-analysis.
Am J Public Health. Family dynamics and young adults' well-being: The mediating role of sibling bullying. J Interpers Violence. High school students' perceptions of motivations for cyberbullying: an exploratory study. West J Emerg Med. Stigma-based bullying interventions: A systematic review. Dev Rev. Peer influence in bullying: The autonomy-enhancing effect of moral competence. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellFamily.
At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page. These choices will be signaled globally to our partners and will not affect browsing data. We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. When they pick on someone else, it can make them feel big and powerful.
Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry and shouting all the time. They may think that being angry, calling names, and pushing people around is a normal way to act. Some bullies are copying what they've seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves. Sometimes bullies know that what they're doing or saying hurts other people.
But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others. Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on kids who get upset easily or who have trouble sticking up for themselves.
Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel like they have the power they want. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Sometimes bullies just pick on a kid for no reason at all. So now you know that bullying is a big problem that affects a lot of kids, but what do you do if someone is bullying you?
Our advice falls into two categories: preventing a run-in with the bully, and what to do if you end up face-to-face with the bully. Don't give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully. You can't go into hiding or skip class, of course. But if you can take a different route and avoid the mean kid, do so. Stand tall and be brave.
When you're scared of another person, you're probably not feeling your bravest. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. How does a brave person look and act? Stand tall and you'll send the message: "Don't mess with me. See the next tip! Feel good about you. Nobody's perfect, but what can you do to look and feel your best? Maybe you'd like to be more fit.
If so, maybe you'll decide to get more exercise, watch less TV, and eat healthier snacks. Or maybe you feel you look best when you shower in the morning before school. If so, you could decide to get up a little earlier so you can be clean and refreshed for the school day.
Get a buddy and be a buddy. Student group norms and views about which students are of 'greater' social standing come from society's values about power and status. This process happens as children and young people absorb and copy the norms, values and prejudices of their school and their wider community.
Why does bullying happen? Any student, through no fault of their own, may be a target of bullying. Home About bullying Why does bullying happen? On this page:. Was this helpful? Tell us what you think. Also in this section About bullying What is bullying?
Different types of bullying Cyberbullying The effects of bullying Who is involved?
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